Finding Myself
by Earth Angel in Silver
Summary: Usagi fakes her death. Deciding it is best to leave the senshi and Mamoru so that... well you will have to read it to find out more.... Were getting down to the last few chapters....so sad.
1. Prologue

Okay this is just something I came up with. Dont be angry if you don't   
like it just dont review it.  
  
  
Disclaimer: I dont feel like messing with this right now, I dont own Sailor Moon.  
  
  
Finding Myself  
Prolouge  
Rated R   
By Earth Angel  
Email: Silver_Earth_Angel@hotmail.com  
  
  
  
@------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
"Usagi, we here by take away your right to be Sailor Moon. We over rule you when it comes  
to your safety. Please hand over the transformation locket. You will be able to keep the  
crystal." Venus stood before me her hand out waiting for my locket. I wouldn't let them  
take it from me. Instead I ran out of the room, making my way home. They had all betrayed me  
even my Endymion. I was late to this battle, and on top of it all I had a broken arm.  
It wasn't my fault I was late. I had been at the hospital having test done. What the senshi   
didn't know was that I had tumor when I was only five. They had to run test every now and   
then to make sure that it hadn't grown back after the operation. They hadden even bothered to ask  
why I was late, that didn't matter much, what matter the most was the fact that I had been  
hurt, when they were suppose to be protecting me, then their was the fact that I was late,  
and the fact that I wasn't what they had wanted in a princess.  
  
Okay, so maybe I wasn't meant to be a senshi or a princess. Usagi Tuskino. That  
is who I thought I was. But I guess I was wrong. One day a black  
cat with a yellow cercent moon on its forehead came to be and told me  
that I was a sailor senshi, Sailor Moon to be exact, but that wasnt who I was   
either. But something happened. I learned thats who I wasnt really.  
I was Princess Serenity of the Moon Kingdom. But still that wasnt really who I was either.   
The senshi wanted me to stop fighting. A princess should be delicate, graceful,   
and smart. Everything that I wasn't. I tried to be a better fighter, and I did, even if I did   
clutz out a few times. I went threw so much more than all the other senshi combined. Now they   
try to pressure me into things. Trying to make me the princess that they want, the princess   
that they expect. They never gave me a chance to be me. To live my own life. From the start   
everyone has tried to make me someone that I am not. I can't live that life anymore. I need a   
chance to become me. Without the pressure of the others. I love them all dearly, but it is  
time that I found mysel, without them interferring with how I become. Besides they don't really  
care about me. At some degree they do, but sometimes I can tell that the only reason that they  
let me hang around is because I'm their princess that they have to protect. I've know that   
sometimes they just want to hang around without me. I'm like a cling on to the group. And   
as for my Mamo-chan. I do love him. Really I do. But sometimes I wonder if we had never found  
out about our past lives if he would still be teasing me to no end, and having a relationship  
with someone that was like a princess in everyway possible. If I become the princess that   
they want thats great, if I become something better, that would be great too, and even  
if I become some druggie hore on the streets, well, that wouldn't be so great. I'm not being   
greedy. I'm not doing it only for myself. I'm doing it for them. The senshi and Mamoru.  
I'm giving them the chance to be normal. To chose the life that they wanted. And in the   
process I will find myself, decide just who I want to be, and maybe someday I will return  
to check up on them. To make sure that they are alright, to show them that I have change and  
they no longer need to protect me as they thought they had to, they would no longer need to   
pretend that they loved me. But until that day they would have to think that I am dead.  
I pulled out a bottle of pills from my cabniet and swallowed at least twenty of them,  
maybe more. Earlier that day I had taken a couple of my bags and put them in a locker at the   
train station. I laid down on the bed and waited for the sleep to take me over. What   
no one knew was the fact that I was immortal. Sleeping pills wouldn't keep me dead forever.  
No I would seem to be dead, and when they find the drugs in my blood stream while I remained  
in the sleep of the dead. I would go through the funeral services, still asleep but before  
they burried me I would awake and leave my family and my home forever. Leaving behind me only  
three notes for my family and friends, my sucide notes.   
  
@-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Dear Senshi, Luna, and Artemis,  
  
Don't worry. You didn't fail your mission. I failed mine. Don't feel guilt over my death.  
I know at least one of you will. I love you all. I was never sure if you all loved me. But  
that doesn't matter, as long as you know that I loved you. Mercury-stay smart and keep your   
warm heart. Mars- Never lose that temper, it suits you. Jupiter- I hope that your resturant   
goes well, you make the best foods, I'm sure that you will be famous someday. Kick some ass.  
Venus- Work for your dreams, good luck to you in the movies. Youll find the right guy someday.  
Luna- Keep nagging on the girls to keep up with their fighting techiques and grades.  
Artemis- tell Luna you love her, I can see it in your eyes. For everyone- maybe someday  
we will meet again.  
  
Until the moon has changed and the stars are bright,   
Selene watch over all of you,  
  
Serena Usagi Tuskino  
Sailor Moon  
Princess Serenity  
@----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Dear Mamo-chan,  
I know that you will miss me. This is a opprotunity for you to find a new life. A life that  
is not controlled by the past. I love you. If I bring you saddness by taking my own life,  
I am sorry, I know that you will get on with your life, and find someone new right away.  
You don't need me. I had aways wondered what it would have been like if Sailor Moon and  
Tuxedo Mask, and Prince Endymion and Princess Serenity never had taken a role in our lives.  
You need to find a girl that is a true princess. Someone that is beautiful, graceful, smart  
and delicate. Someone that you love with a passion. Be happy Mamoru, Remember that I   
love you forever. Until we meet again.  
  
Until the moon has changed and the stars are bright  
Selene watch over you  
I love you   
Usako  
@-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The last letter went to my parents and Shingo. I only asked for them to be happy that I had  
found my freedom. I told them that I loved them and like I had told Mamoru and the senshi I  
told them that we would meet agin when the moon had changed and the stars were bright. That  
was a sentence they wont be able to understand until I come back. I took one last look at   
my old room, as I started to pass out. When I woke up, it would be time for my new life to  
start.  
  
  
@----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I hope that you all enjoyed it. 


	2. Interlude

Oh wow!!! WOW!!! I didn't expect that many reviews all at once. I hardly get that many reviews  
all at once. Thank you minna!!!!  
  
For those that like stories where Usagi/Serena runs away please read my story  
Runaway (Its really depressing too) Plus the sequel I'm working on for that.  
  
  
Finding Myself  
Introlude  
Rated: R -------- soon to come  
By: Earth Angel  
Email: Silver_Earth_Angel@hotmail.com  
@----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I had slept through the services. I heard not a word of saddness over my death. I didn't   
want to hear my mother sobbing over my body. I didn't want to hear the silence of my  
brother trying to hold back his tears, I didn't want to hear the senshi cry that they  
had failied, I didn't want to hear Mamoru cry over the past. I knew that if I wanted  
to I could have woken up to hear it all. To see how each and everyone of them felt about me  
something that I could keep with me forever. But maybe what they say is something I really  
dont want to hear. It will only make it harder to go on with my life as those final words  
they say to me forever ring through my mind. So I slept through it all. I didn't wake  
until my alarm on my wrist watch went off and I could hear the first shovel of dirt hitting  
my casket. Why couldn't we have tombs and family vaults like they did in the olden days.   
It would make it so much easier to get out of Serena Usagi Tuskino's final resting place.  
Yes that would be her final resting place. Not only am I dead to everyone now, I  
have had a chance to be reborn, a chance to start a new and find myself once again.   
I could smell fresh dirt as it hit my coffin, it stopped all of a sudden. I knew at some  
point the grave diggers would stop. Shoveling dirt is a hard job. I listened to the  
sound of their voices fade away and I started to push up on the top of the casket, breaking  
the seal. When it got up high enough I pulled my feet up and started pushing with them  
pushing away the many pounds of dirt. I crawled out of the casket.  
Making sure that my coffin lid was closed I pushed dirt on top of the casket, then made  
my way on to the train station. Today was the day that the new me would be born.  
  
  
@-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I know that it is short but there is another chapter coming up. It just didn't seem right  
in the prolouge and it didn't seem right in the first chapter. Something larger is coming  
up I promise. 


	3. Chapter 1; New with the Old

Thanks everyone for reviewing this. This chapter is kinda boring. I like the beginning and the ending but the middle gets boring. But the middle is important to her new life, so it cant be helped. Gomen minna-san.  
  
@------E.A.  
  
Finding Myself  
Chapter 1  
New and Old  
Rated PG-13 or R.... ------still working on it  
By Earth Angel  
Email: Silver_Earth_Angel@hotmail.com  
  
@---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
A plane. Definition: A large metal object that will fly me to another part of the world.   
Take me from the life that I have known my whole entire life so that I can start anew. New   
beginnings are in order from this day forth and I will make my new life the best that I can.   
I will depend on no one but myself, and I will not regret what I have done for a single day.   
I will only fell sorry for the pain that I have cause to those that loved me, but I will never   
regret my choice.   
  
What is over is over and nothing can change that I thought as I stepped off the plane.   
I knew now that I couldn't go back. It was to late. Yes someday I will return but I am not ready  
and neither are they. I collected my bags off of the belt. Everything around me was strange.   
I decided to start my new life in New York. Luckily I did know a English from classes at school.  
But I had a heavy accent and I couldn't always make sense of what everyone around me was saying. The first thing that I did was store my stuff in a locker and then bought a newspaper to check out open apartments or roommates. I went around town in a taxi taking in the strange sites and different cultures, places, smells. There were so many different cultures in New York, that was why I chose it. Today it was hot and muggy July day. I even ended up stopping off at a store and buying a tank top to wear with my flares. Finally after half a day the taxi driver pulled up next to an old apartment building, unlike many of the buildings that I had seen today this one was in better shape and in a better side of town. I went up the old stone steps, passing the gargoyles that stood on each side of the door. I climbed all the way to the top floor, and came to a stop in front of an old wood door with the letters 4A on it. It was the only room on the floor, the penthouse. I could hear rap music being played from somewhere inside. I let my knuckles rap lightly on the door, just making sure that they could be heard  
over the music. The door opened suddenly and a pretty girl looked at me strait in the eyes.   
She was tall, dark tan skin, green eyes, and beautiful curly black hair hung down to her   
waist, she looked only a year older. She reminded me of a model. She wore a black tank top   
with shorts. What surprised me the most was the nose ring. In Tokyo it was uncommon. "I'm here  
about the room." I say, at least my voice sounds more confident that I actually feel   
right now. "Come on in. Names Ella. And you are?"  
  
"Serena Moonstone. Please call me Rena."   
  
"Okay Rena, Rents a hundred and fifty a month. You have to pay half of all the other bills.   
There will be no guys, drinking, drugs, or parties in my home unless there is special   
permission on the party. If you are underage you will have to go to school and still find   
away to pay for the bills. If you bring me any trouble you're out on your ass the second I   
find out. I'm going to need to know a few other things. "What is your age, where are you from   
exactly, any emergency numbers I might have to know in case something happens to you, any   
illness that may cause you problems now, and school that you will be going to, oh and your   
grade?"  
  
This girl seems to know her business really well. She gets strait to the point and waits   
for no one. I like her. She seems nice, and I can tell she really doesn't want trouble.   
I gave her the answers to all of her questions as she showed me the apartment. It was in  
really go shape. No rats or bugs that I could tell   
of. The last place I checked out had a ton of them. The living room was kind of small. It   
had a medium sized tv, a couple of those cup chairs, a bean bag, and a love seat, and it   
sliding glass doors lead to a balcony. She then lead me to a room, actually it was two   
rooms with a large open doorway in the middle. "This would be your room. I looked at the   
white walls. One room was clearly a studio, there were large open windows a smaller balcony,  
and the floor had no carpet, but the other room had dark maroon carpet, a closet, large   
mirrors, a black and silver ceiling fan.. It was the best room I had seen all day. "Do I   
get the room?" The only reply I got from Ella was "When can you move in?"   
Today. Yes today, July 15th, 2001 I made my new life, a new friend and roommate, and a new   
home.   
I left the apartment then and made my way to find a new job. And I got hired after four   
interviews as a part time secretary in the afternoons and weekends. After I had left the job   
interviews and I had taken my stuff to my new home I had bought a map of the city, making my   
way around my new home. I had saw something I had never wanted to see again in my life,   
something that I had tried to get away from but couldn't. A part of the old me entered me again   
when I saw it. I realized it then but I couldn't change this part of me because it was really a   
part of me, not what others were trying to shape me into. It was something that I couldn't  
throw away, something I couldn't ignore. I realized then that a part of the old Usagi would   
stick with the new Rena.  
  
@-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Hope you all liked this. 


	4. Was it Really Worth it?

Hey minna. I know that you most likely didn't like the last chapter. Not as deep and   
emotional but I needed that chapter like that. This chapter gets right back into the   
head of Usagi like the prolouge and the introlude. I hope that you all like it. For   
those that are reading Fairy Until Darien (co-authored with Moon Angel010)   
the next chapter will be out really soon. Its almost finished.   
  
Earth Angel  
  
  
Finding Myself  
Chapter 2  
Was it Really Worth it?  
Rated PG-13  
By Earth Angel  
Email: Silver_Earth_Angel@hotmail.com  
  
  
@---------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
What I saw that day forever changed my life as I told you earlier. I saw a man hurting   
a women in a alley way. The old Usagi worked her way into my mind telling me that  
I had to save her. That the world needed to be changed for the better. To help this person.  
I had worked hard to protect this world from monsters and supernatural creatures that no   
one really believed in, and now I realized that we  
were doing so much harm to ourselves, maybe I should have let the youmas drain the life  
from this planet. I wouldn't doom them for the same fate as that the moon kingdom.  
I stopped the man. Only I killed him. I didn't mean to. I wasn't in  
senshi form. I grew up a lot that day.   
  
Its been nine years and I still live in the same apartment with the same old  
roommate. Ella became my best friend. She didn't try to change me or shape me. She let me   
be me. Thats what was most important thing in our friendship. She did have me try new things,  
and I became more of a dare-me-to-do-anything-and-I'll-do-it kinda girl. During the day I   
went to a nice art school, and became really well know for my work around New York. I   
also published a book on my life, something changed of course. It wasn't that big of a   
hit, but it was up on the top twenty list. I also went to college and became a FBI agent.   
I decided that the day that I killed that man that I wanted to stop evil like the old   
Usagi, only I wanted to stop humans from killing humans, and I wanted to do it without   
having to kill as little as possible. So I beame on of the top agents. I worked my ass off  
and I loved it. I even cut my hair to my mid back.  
  
For the first time I loved who I really was. I was Rena Moonstone. I was a   
FBI Agent, Artist, Writer, great fighter, dare-me-to-do-anything kinda girl that loved  
the little things in life. The kinda of girl that was who she wanted to be, and went for   
her dreams. I was finally almost happy. I was only missing one thing in my life that   
I use to have and wanted back. Love and family. The two most important things   
in a persons life. Yes, I found who I wanted to be but as a result I lost those two things.  
I lost my family, my soulmate, and the best friends I had ever had. Sometimes I wonder   
if it was truly worth it all.  
  
I would lay awake at night and remember how Mamoru would hold me in his arms.   
How his soft lips would feel aganist mine, how they tasted like chocolate. Cuddling in  
his strong arms and taking in the sweet sent of roses. The feel of his soft  
black hair between my fingers. Those deep blue eyes with looks of love as they looked  
at me. How he would pull on my pigtails, and run his hands threw it. His smile when  
he saw me. The corny speeches he would make as he suddenly popped up on the scence to   
help us destroy the youma. How dashing he looked in his tuxedo and mask. Yes I miss  
him. I miss him dearly, everyday since I dulled our link. I made it so he could just   
barely feel me, just enough to know that I was okay and dead. I knew that if one of   
us died the link would remain but it wouldn't be as sharp since the realms kept us apart.  
I made it so dull that all he could know was that I was okay where I was. I didn't   
let any feels of his come through. I was afraid of knowing half the time what had happened  
without me there. To find out if it was bad. I knew that either way it would be bad.  
If they really didn't want me there the whole time and maybe they were happy I was dead,  
or if they had taken it so bad that one of them couldn't go on very well. If there lives   
were destroyed by me leaving. I hoped that they were all strong enough to go on. I hadn't  
felt anyone of them die. I would have if they did. So I kept them blocked out   
still wondering if it was worth all the pain and trouble to find out who I really  
was. I knew that either way one side would get hurt.   
  
  
Like I said I worked my ass off to become one of the top agents in the FBI. It didn't  
surprise me when they told me that they wanted me to help work with a case across seas.  
I had done that before. What shocked me was the fact that they were sending me to   
Tokyo, Japan.   
  
@-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
HA!!!! You have to wait for another day or two.  



	5. Rose on a Bench

Thanks you everyone that reviewed. I'm so happy (sniff) I've never gotten so many   
reviews for a story. Please review if you havent!  
  
Finding Myself  
Chapter 3  
Rose on a Bench  
Rated: PG-13 ----------- for now   
By: Earth Angel  
Email: Silver_Earth_Angel  
  
@---------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Big town, market, temples, cherry blossoms, lakes, gardens, parks, roses, flowers, my grave.  
Home. People, family, friends, love... that all think I'm dead. Yes in a sense I am dead.  
The easily shaped and molded Usagi is now gone. I was finally home. Something has   
changed in the last nine years. I said that I wouldn't regret it, and I dont. I don't  
regret taking a chance to find myself. What I do regret is losing my family and friends and  
love. But if I were to find myself and let them grow, I couldn't keep them. I knew that  
when I left. I don't think that they will welcome me back with open arms either. Maybe   
I will see them while I'm here, and then again maybe I wont. Part of me wants to show them  
and I have become something better than they all had thought, that I had found myself,  
and to also see how they had turned out without me. The other part of me says turn away  
and never look back. Don't let yourself get tied down or hurt. Just do your job and get   
home right away.   
  
Cooking..homemaker...Mom  
  
Photographer... sense of humor...boyfriend-killer...Dad  
  
Spore...video games...Shingo  
  
Family...  
  
Cherry blossoms....temple....fire....Rei-chan.  
  
Lake...swimming...water...Ami-chan.  
  
Malls..shopping...hot guys...love... Minako-chan.  
  
Market...food..strenght...Makoto-chan.  
  
Park...playground...spore...brat...daugther...Chibi-Usa.  
  
Park...gardens...roses...love...Mamo-chan.  
  
Friends...  
  
Love...  
  
I stopped going through my mind then. I didn't even want to go through the outer senshi.   
they were never as round as much. Yet I still missed them, it was just easier not to miss  
since they never came around as much, they were out traveling the world. I wonder how big   
Hotaru is now. I wonder how Chibi-Usa is doing in the future. I made sure that she was   
gone to the gate of time before I left. I only hope that her future hasn't change   
while my choices in this dimension have taken affect on the timeline. I walked through   
the park that Mamoru and I had taken so many walks through. Today being my second day in   
Tokyo was my time to take a stroll down memory lane, remember the past that I threw away  
so that I could be who I was. I took in the trees, the lakes, the flowers, the lovers,  
and 'our bench' the place that we would meet everyday. Everyday that I came to that   
bench it was either empty or had Mamoru on it. But today it had a rose. A perfect red rose.  
I knew that Mamoru had planted it there. I could sense it. I let my hands pick it up.  
The thorns made there way into my hand. Mamoru never made thorns in his roses. But the  
stem of this one was covered completely in them. I didn't care about the sharp   
pain or the blood that ran from my cuts. It just felt good to be holding something   
that had been recently touched by the one that I still loved. I wanted to become one with   
this object know that it might be the closest I ever got to him for the rest of my life.   
I don't know how long that I sat there on that bench holding the rose. Letting the aroma   
fill my senses, as warm tears rolled silently and slowly down my cheeks.  
Night came to quickly. I almost hoped the whole time that I sat there that  
Mamoru would come to the bench wanting to know what I was doing with his rose. But he   
never came. I don't know if he would reconize me now. I know he would when he looked into my  
eyes. Unless they had lost everything in them that use to be there, and became   
eyes that he no longer knew. When I finally noticed it was night, and the owls screeched at  
me did I leave the bench. I knew that I had to get home, tomorrow I had to work.   
But I walked slowly down the paved paths, never letting the rose go. I must be a sad sight.  
I could almost see myself walking. Wearing my short skirt with a high collar sleeveless shirt.  
My blond hair blowing behind me. The red rose close to my chest, my hand bloody,   
my eyes with a far off look. Yes, a sad sight I must make. What finally brought me out of my   
daze was the sound of fighting. I followed my ears to the sound and came to a clearing in the   
woods. I saw all the senshi, inners and outers, and Tuxedo Mask fighting a youma. I wanted   
to jump out and hug them, youma or not. How I wanted to press my lips to Mamoru's,   
to let myself melt into him and become one with him forever, but instead I stayed hidden in   
the shawdows. Not sure what to do. You have to help them, the old Usagi entered my head again.   
I knew that, but how do I help them. Do I pick up my locket and become Sailor Moon again, or   
do I turn my back on them , betray the ones that I loved, even if they might not have loved  
me back I still loved them. I highly doubt that if I went out there with my   
gun that the youma would put his hands behind its back as I read he's rights to him and   
let me arrest him. I think that the youma would die of laughter first.  
  
@---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
IMPORTANT READ ME!!!!...okay its more of an opinion poll......  
  
CLIFF HANGER!!! HA!!!!!!! Well I have been spitting chapters out like fire but the next one   
might take a couple of days. I'm not sure myself on Usagi's choice. Will she run? Will  
she fight? What do you think? Let me know what you think she will do.   
  
Well I hope that you enjoyed it. PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU HAVENT!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  



	6. Two People Fused as One.... Finally

Hey people. This chapter is really short, gomen. I promise you so much more next time though...  
  
  
  
Finding Myself  
Chapter 4  
Two People Fused as One  
Rated: PG-13  
By: Earth Angel  
Email: Silver_Earth_Angel@hotmail.com  
  
  
@----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I did the only thing I could. I ran. I ran away from them, the battle, the old Usagi, and   
the new Rena. I not only turned my back on them but on myself.   
All I had ever wanted was to change the world in my own way. The way without  
pain and suffering. I wanted the easy way out. I stopped dead in my tracks.  
It hit me. I was looking for the easy way I was a fraud, a fake. I had only become   
the top agent out of guilt I realize now. I liked all the work and it helped me try and   
find myself, but at the same time I was working so hard because I felt bad about leaving the  
senshi alone to fight this evil.  
  
Yes, I did want to give the senshi a chance to grow without me, to find   
themselves, but at the same time I was looking for away out. I never asked or wanted for  
the destiny given to me, I just wanted to be normal.   
The old me had never left, that part of me was right there guiding me onto the person that   
I wanted to become. I had started thinking of my old life and my new life as two different   
people. But the middle person is who I really am. The girl that whole life is one person. The   
girl that values all that she was taught. I could almost feel both sides of me fuse into one.   
I wasn't just Usagi or Rena I was both of them. Finally I had realized who I really was.  
For the first time I am actually ashamed of myself. Ashamed for being a coward and running  
away from that fight. Ashamed for leaving leaving the senshi alone to fight all these years  
and ashamed for letting the new me, the person that I wanted to be runaway from a fight.  
I would never runaway from a good fight. So I turned around and headed back towards the   
clearning as fast as I could run. Its time to kick some ass.   
  
@-----  
(Prophetess of Hearts you got your wish :) When you said that there should be  
some innocence, some of the old her left in her I realized that you were right. Thank  
you!)  
  
  
@------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Thanks for all the replies... so next time you'll have to figure out just how  
shes going to do it and just how the senshi are going to take it... I think. Hey   
I havent written it yet so I cant make promises until the words hit the keyboard. 


	7. Chapter 5; The Moon Has Changed. Are the...

Hello out there. I would like to thank everyone again for reviewing. This has got to be   
best story that I have written because I thinks its gotten the most reviews off fanfiction.net  
I'm hoping that I can get over a hundred reviews for this story. So please review it.   
Also if you like this story you should read my Runaway story. Its been finished but the   
sequels is still in the works.   
  
New chapters on Someone Else's Life and One Day at a Time.   
  
As for Angel for Earth there will be a shorter chapter out tomorrow.  
  
Fairy Until Darien will be updated sometime in the next week.  
its done, I just need to check it over with Moon Angel010.   
  
Thanks everyone. Please help me with my GOAL for over a 100 REPLIES PLEASE!!! REVIEW!!!!  
  
Finding Myself  
Chapter 5  
The Moon has changed. Are the stars bright?  
Rate: PG-13  
BY: Earth Angel  
Email: Silver_Earth_Angel@hotmail.com  
  
  
@------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I sat in the trees watching the senshi. They were losing badly. Mercury now had a broken arm  
and they were all battered, brusised, cut, and low on energy. I had aways thought that  
when I left that the enemy might have left to, or the senshi would stop fighting with  
no princess to protect. I stayed in the shawdows. I didn't want them to see me.   
Even if they did they might not reconize me. I've change a lot.  
My long yellow hair now a shorter silvery gold. My eyes hold more wisdom and age than   
the old Usagi knew. My height a few inches taller, about as tall as Makoto. I also had  
the auroa or grace and peace, as Ella once told me, instead of my childish bubbly   
self. I once showed Ella a picture of me in high school before I came here. She told me that   
she didnt reconize me.. I only hope that the same goes for the senshi. I don't want them to know that I'm here  
yet and very much alive. I want to watch over them as a mother watches over her children.  
The way that they tried to watch over me.   
  
The gun shot rang through the air. A smoking gun in my hands. I didn't need to be a   
senshi to defeat a youma. I hit the youma in the head. I feel bad about killing him   
when he didn't even know I was there. Its a forbidden law to all. But I saw no choice in   
the matter. He was going after Mercury, and no one else could save her but me.   
The bloodied carcass feel only two feet infront of her. She looked up to me, everyone did.  
Their eyes were wide with shock. "Who-o are you." Ami asked the unspoken question that   
hung in the air. I knew that feeling, I had asked Tuxedo Mask, the Moonlight Knight,   
Sailor Uranus, and Sailor Neptune many times before.  
  
"The moon has changed. Are the stars bright?" Was my only answer. They all gasped at my  
answer. I jumped out of the tree and into the light, their eyes seemed full of questions  
and uncertainty to me.   
  
"How did you know that. Who in the hell are you?" Mars asked me her temper in more of a flair  
than usual. I guess I got my wish they don't reconize me.   
  
"I was sent here to watch over you. You don't need to know who I am right now. The day   
will come when I know that the stars are bright, just like the princess wanted."  
  
"What do you know about the princess?" Uranus was coming closer to me.  
  
"I know that she died so that you would become something special. So that you could become  
your own people. Without her you could have thrown away being a senshi. You were suppose   
to protect her. Why not just let the Earth enforcements take up the fight so that   
you could have a normal life."  
  
"She wouldn't have wanted that. She loved this planet, Earths enforcements might not   
be enough. So we protect this place for her." Jupiter stood up onto her two feet.   
  
"I see. You did know her deep down."  
  
"We loved her." Tuxedo Mask stated.  
  
"Then why did you betray her." I knew then that I sounded errie and mysterious like a little  
girl with more wisdom than any of them. "Why did you not listen to her. She had reason  
for being late. But you're judgement was to clouded. She was late because  
she had a check up appointment. Did you really love her?"  
  
"Yes, we did." Each senshi said in some way.   
  
"I need to go now. Until the next battle. When I know the stars are bright maybe the princess  
will return to you." They didn't plead with me to stay or tell them what I meant. They  
had grown. Now I just needed to find out how, and if they were ready for me to come back.  
I promised myself that I wouldn't come back until the day that I had changed, the moon  
and when they were brighter, better people, people that they wanted to be.  
I'm I ready for them, and most importantly are they ready for me?  
  
@------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I almost had it. I was going to do it, but I couldn't. I just couldn't do it. I had it   
written but I erased it. I guess youll have to wait again..... 


	8. Visiting an Old Friend

82 replies thank you everyone. I still haven't reach 100 yet. I hope that you like this  
chapter.   
  
  
Finding Myself  
Chapter 6  
Visiting an Old Friend  
Rated: PG-13  
By: Earth Angel  
Email: Silver_Earth_Angel@hotmail.com  
  
  
@------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
They weren't expecting it. I watched from the shawdows at each battle. Before everyone  
that had helped them in battle had always come back to help fight. I know that they were  
expecting me, but what they didn't expect was the fact that I never came out of the shawdows  
to help. I watched and followed them home. Making sure that they were safe in bed before  
returning to my own little hotel room. Oh how I now long for my soft bed with the cresent  
moons on the comfortor. No doubt that by now Shingo has taken my room, or it has been   
turned into some other kind of room. Mom and dad always wanted more space in the house  
and I gave it to them. Every morning I got up and did my job. I was working undercover  
as an American drug smuggler, during the day I helped the police in Japan and in the   
evenings and late at night I would work on getting the druggie lords to trust me,  
I was slowly working my way onto the inside, waiting for the bigger busts, making  
sure that only a few little ones got stopped. It was working but slowly. I had yet  
to meet the biggest drug lord in charge. Then after all that work I usually ran  
into the senshi fighting and then the process would start all over again. No matter  
how hard I tried to stay away from the fighting, it always seemed to find me. I knew  
that I was ready to become Sailor Moon again if needed, but still I wasn't sure  
if they actually needed me. The first night that I came across the fight they did need me  
but they had not needed me since then. The fighting hard for them but they can manage..  
barely. Maybe it was time that I visited an old friend.  
  
I walked into the crown arcade. They proably don't hang out here anymore I realize that  
after all they are about 23 now. What 23 year olds hand out in an arcade. But I wanted  
to find Motoki the one person I knew that I could trust. I knew that he never wanted  
me to change. I remember he told me that once when I was sipping at a milkshake trying  
to cheer him up since his girlfriend was gone. I know that he wanted me to do better  
in everything but he liked me for me. He was the one that saw the other side to me when  
no one else did even if I didn't always share it with him. He knew it was there just  
waiting to come out, waiting for the day that I could really be who I am. I really  
didn't expect to see him behind the counter. He was suppose to be a doctor now.   
He had his back to me as I sat down at my usual spot and just said "The usual Motoki."   
It was as if he was back in the past because I saw him go for the cup and almost start  
to fill it before he stopped. He turned around. His eyes were almost squinting,  
full of questions. It was as if he knew who I was but couldn't quite put his finger on  
it. "I'm sorry miss do I know you." I just looked at him with a mysterious smile on my  
face. "Come on Motoki, its me, Usagi. I want my usual. Extra large chocolate milkshake with  
extra chocolate, whip cream to the top with a cherry and some chocolate shavings."  
His eyes became wide. He just looked at me, his face pale. Then he turned so his side  
was to me. "I'm losing it." Then he began back to his work. "Motoki look at me."   
He just kept sweeping the floor. "You're not real." Man he must have taken my death  
hard. "Motoki I'm not dead. Go into the back room Ill meet you back there."  
Slowly he put the broom back and then made his way into that back room. Did I ever tell  
you about the time that he locked me back there with Mamoru.. another time maybe.  
"Motoki, touch me." His hand came out and cupped my check. Then he embraced me giving me  
a great big bear hug, swinging me around the room. "How Usagi. You were dead. I saw you  
in the coffin." I stayed in his embrace not wanting to ever leave it. "I faked my   
death. I wanted to find myself. I wanted my friends to have a chance to find themselves   
also."   
  
"Where have you been?"  
  
"I've been in New York City and Washinton. I work for the FBI so I spend half my time in   
each place. I'm one of the top agents, I'm famous around New York for my art work and  
I even had a book published."  
  
"Oh Usagi, you should have been here. Everything fell apart without you."  
  
"It feel apart without me?"  
  
"Yes Usagi. How could you have been so selfish!? Makoto started picking more fights,  
Minako stopped being her cheerful self and became a major slut, Ami through herself into   
her studies and worked on becoming a doctor even harder, and Rei, well Rei, no one really   
knows whats happened to her, shes runaway a few times, and stopped talking completely, Shingo   
started getting into some major shit, I mean hanging out with gangs and doing drugs. And   
well me I dragged myself through the rest of college but couldn't let go of the arcade   
because it reminded me of you!!" His voice raised with each word that came from his lips.  
Makoto went back to her old ways,   
  
I did more damange then I did good. I could almost feel the tears well up in my eyes. I had  
hoped that they could live without me. I thought at the time that I left that they  
didn't want me or need me. Only Ami seemed to find what she wanted in life, and as for everyone  
else, I destroyed them. Like I said I will never regret myself for finding myself but   
I will regret it what I did to them. And my poor brother....  
  
"And what about Mamoru..?"  
  
"Mamoru tried to kill himself twice to be with you." He said. I was no longer in his warm   
brotherely embrase but standing next to him. I could feel the negative vibes coming off   
of him. The tension made the air full of anger and hurt, a feeling of cold.  
  
Yeah hes pissed. I knew that he would be. "Motoki, please understand that when I came back I   
realized that it was selfish and I don't expect to be welcomed back with open arms.   
(and open eyes yeah what ever tomorrow brings Ill be there.... sorry I couldn't help it!)  
But I can't change what I did and I don't think that I want to either. I know who I am   
now and I hate myself for hurting everyone but I won't regret it. I regret lossing them all  
and you too. I'm back for now and I plan to help try to make some of it right. All  
I ask for you is not to tell anyone that I am back. I want to see them on my own.  
I want to apologize to you Motoki. I'm sorry for everything  
I did. I know that you won't forgive me, I won't ask for that, but I want you to know that  
I am sorry for the pain that I caused." I turned around and left him in that dark   
storage room. He didn't try to stop me. I almost wish he would. I wished that he would  
tell me that he had forgiven me, but my wish was left unsanswered as I walked away from him.  
Maybe I could head back to New York. Never see the senshi. They were trying to get over  
my death. Why change their lives again? They don't need me.  
The moon has change and it seemed to me that the stars had dimmed not brightened. Maybe  
I made them stronger in some ways but in others I had made them weaker. I made them   
vunerable and sent them on the wrong path. I could hang around here, finish my mission  
and go home, never changing their lives anymore than I have, or I could come back into  
their lives and feel rejection and their hatered and discust for me because of what I did  
to them. I change there lives so that I can apologize. Apologize for ruining their lives and  
for never becoming the princess that they wanted. I know that if they know that I faked my  
death they would be disspointed in me. Deep down I want them to   
forgive me and take me back, even if I don't expect them to its what I want and thats what  
I'm hoping for. I guess that I could only sleep on it a night and see how it looks in   
the morning. I feel as if I had taken two steps forward and then two back, leaving me right  
where I started at. Tomorrow things would look better I hoped.  
  
Little did I know that in the future a huge surprise awaited me. A surprise that would change   
everything.   
  
@-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
So what do you think? 


	9. Two in the Hole

THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!! and I have reached my goal and then some. I brought this  
out. It took me alittle while to decide what to do in this chapter. Will I reveal?  
What was that surprise Usagi is gonna get? Is she going to go home without telling the  
senshi she's alive? Maybe you'll find out and then maybe you wont. I know that its  
kinda short but I hope to have more out in a couple days. I'll shut up now and let yall read.  
  
THANKS!!!  
  
Finding Myself  
Chapter 7  
Two in the Whole  
Rated: PG-13  
By: Earth Angel  
Email: Silver_Earth_Angel@hotmail.com  
  
@---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
I was going home. To tell you the truth I didn't want to, but duty called.  
The main druggie, that I had yet to meet, wanted me to go back to  
the U.S. with a few of his best men to make sure that the shipment went well. I realize that  
there could be a good chance that I would never make it back to Tokyo.  
Only if the boss and the lord wanted me to. And if he's sending a guy or two with me  
it could mean that his boys could leave me and go with the shipment alone. The police here,  
and the FBI could think of nothing better, and we were forced to go along with the plan.   
I might not be getting him this time, but the men were working on a bigger plan up in  
the offices.   
  
I was ready to leave but I didn't want to go without letting the senshi know that   
I was sorry, and yet I didn't want to tell them that I was alive. My life is screwed up.   
It filled my dreams each night. My brother on the steets doing drugs, the one thing   
that I had been trying to stop these last nine years. The senshi fighting alone. Mamoru with a   
gun to his head, I saw Rei living on the streets, never saying word to anyone, Makoto losing a   
fight, Ami in her studies, never doing more than studying, and Minako in the bed of her lovers.  
These were the images that filled my head. They screamed at me, they cried for me and with  
me, they didn't want any of it. They were all so angry. They weren't the same people that  
they use to be. The same loving, loud, nagging friends that I had. And what about Luna and  
Artemis?   
  
I constantly had to remind myself why I left. I don't regret that, but still I wonder if it was   
worth ruining the lives of those that I love. I still had to choices at hand, neither answered,   
and neither solved. Both leaving me with a promblem in the future. When I left I didn't know   
that it would cause so much pain and promblems, not just for me but for everyone else as well.  
I didn't know how to tell everyone here that I was very much alive. How am I suppose to   
walk into a room and say, "I'm alive. Don't worry about me. But I have to leave you again  
and I'll never see you. Goodbye." and then leave. First thing was first do the job, then  
worry about senshi, and your family. I don't have time for them. And what if they   
expect me to be a senshi again or queen someday. I don't want that. I'm happy being a   
Fed, I'm happy with my art work, I'm happy with my book, even if it didn't make a big   
impact, I'm happy with the apartment, and I'm lucky to have Ella. I am happy with my   
life, almost. Who says that I need family and all of my old friends.  
  
I did well enough without them these last nine years. I got through mental, emotional, and   
physical pain. I've been battered, shot, tourtured, rejected, dumped, and became a murderer.   
I got through all that without them. I wished for them and now that I have a chance that they   
might take me back, a very small chance, mind you, I'm throwing it away. I don't want to have  
to be rejected again, and yet I still want them back. I still want to know if I have a chance   
to make it right. I want to let them know that I'm sorry. That I never meant for it to turn out   
this way. I wanted them to know that I thought they never wanted me in the first place, that  
they would have a normal life without me. With no princess to protect they didn't have  
to defend the world and yet they did. I wanted them to go on and become someone great.  
I wanted Rei-chan to have her chance to be a singer and song writer, Minako-chan to have time to  
become a pro volleyball player and actress, Mako-chan to open her resturant and be known  
all through Japan for her food, Ami-chan to become a doctor, Haruka-chan to have   
more time to race, and Michelle-chan to have more time to spend painting and playing her  
music, Hotura-chan to have a chance to be a normal girl. For Pluto I'm afraid that  
she would never have a normal life, the blood of the god of time runs through her veins and  
it is her duty to watch time and space. As for my Mamo-chan, I don't deserve him, or   
to even call him that. I would have made a horrible wife if I stayed the way I was,  
hidden from everyone and myself. I had figured that if I had left they would have time  
to do these things. Being a senshi would only get in the way of their dreams, and if  
they didn't have a princess to protect they could stop. I had figured them wrong.  
I thought that they might not miss me, all the nagging and arguing had led me to that  
conclusion. But they did know that I would do anything to help protect this world, and  
they kept being senshi for me, they were trying to protect my dream, and in the  
end I stole their dreams from them. When I left I took them with me. As Motoki said once  
I was their strenght, what kept them up on the bad days, and they needed me as much   
as I needed them.  
  
  
I was back in my hotel room todays later. The boys were suppose to arrive any minute and  
then go with me on the plane. When I heard a loud rapping sound come from my door I opened  
it to finda man with blond hair and blue eyes and behind him were two people that I wasn't  
expecting to see. Two people that I never thought would be in this shit, and two people that  
I would have to bust, no matter how much it hurts me.  
  
@-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Ha! I'm getting to the point that I should be revealing things, but I really  
don't want to, and to top it all off I have either a million ideas, or two really bad  
ideas. I'm trying to be orginal and it may be a few more days before anything new   
comes out. 


	10. Three in New York

Hey minna, sorry that it took so long to get this out. I have been running ever possible  
two team people to put together and finally after long thinking I figured it out.  
I'm very disappointed that you guys thought you knew who was going to be the two people  
that Rena knew at the door. You all should no that I'm not that predictable.  
  
I got happy news to! First I got a family on the ASMR board! Yea!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!  
This is my family  
  
  
  
  
And I got my level 2 drivers license so if you live in Michigan stay off the roads!  
  
  
Finding Myself  
Chapter 8  
Three in New York  
Rated: PG-13  
By: Earth Angel  
Email: Silver_Earth_Angel@hotmail.com  
  
  
@-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
The door open, my classical music played in the background, a haunting melody from a   
time long ago, it reminded me of childhood and each phase of my life, the main instrument  
would change, as did my life making the song stronger and sweeter. And as I looked before   
me I could barely hide the tears that were standing in my eyes. They burned trying to   
escape my eyes. Before me stood a girl that was gifted and a boy that was  
once bright. It was Ami and my own sweet little spore of a brother.  
  
(AN: I decided to give you Shingo. At first it wasn't   
going to be Shingo, I thought about Rei, Mamoru, Matoko, and even a little about Minako  
in the roles, but they just didn't work that great. And I realized using Mamoru would be   
stupid because hes the prince of Earth and he loves his people very much, so much that   
he wouldn't kill them with drugs. BUT you didn't expect Ami! HA!!)  
  
But before me were not the people that I had once known, like Motoki they had changed when   
I died. My brothers hair was longer so that it laid down more on his head and   
his green eyes sparkled with deep anger, and with his muscles he could now easily lift me  
up. They were nice not to big. It looks that my shrimpy brother was no longer shrimpy.  
His clothes black and dark as the air that   
was around him. I could feel the negative vibes rolling off of him like the waves upon   
the sand. While next to him the girl held a vibe of mystery. She had put a veil around   
herself, like a thick fog. She was no long as short  
but just as tall as me, maybe a whole 5'8 feet tall. Her blue hair that reached just  
past her shoulders was not feathery soft looking like it had the other night, but   
now it was styled to give a new attitude to the quiet senshi of Mercury in short spiky  
hair. Her clothes fight her body tightly showing as much skin as possible.   
  
My brother just stumbled into my room muttering something about having to hurry,  
and close behind him was Ami, what about her? What in the hell was she doing here she doing   
here? She was suppose to be a doctor and a senshi. Surely she did not want to hurt the   
people that she was trying to help. It made no sense to save people and then try to   
kill them, I couldn't read a damn thing in her blue eyes. They were well masked, something   
that she had learned to do. To shield out the world around her was something natural to her   
now. Maybe she became as lost as all the others had, but in the end couldn't get out of it.   
She was caught up in the web. Maybe she was the kind of person that wanted to get out of it,  
but couldn't. Why in the hell did I have to mean so much to them, this whole   
time I thought they never wanted me!? I had thought that I was not loved the way that I should  
have been, that they found me as a way to take out their anger very day, and to make fun of me   
for the hell of it. It was not the time for the past anymore, it was time for the future.  
I let them into the lighted room so that they could get a good look at me, I knew that  
with my back to the light they really couldn't make me out that well, while I could make   
them out. And as I turned towards the light and towards them, I saw the blue girl's   
eyes light up in mystery and wonder on why someone that had once helped them, was here  
in this, one girl of mystery that had spoken of their lost princess. I knew that she   
couldn't saying anything about it, for fear of giving away her own secret, but I could   
see her lips itch with the words that she wanted to ask me. While my brother and the blond   
man just looked me up and down. It hurt that my own brother did not reconize me but on   
the other sense I was greatful because if he did it would ruin everything that I had   
worked for. And as my blue eyes looked into him, he look at me like he reconized, then   
his eyes filled with happiness, and then saddness, disappointment, and finally they   
once again filled with anger. My arms wanted to hold him, but I held them down. I remembered  
a time when he was just a infant, crying in his craddle, but as I picked him up and  
cuddled him and rocked him, he stopped, and just looked at me with those wide eyes.   
  
The blond man plopped himself down on the little couch. His ancent strong and french  
broke thew my train of thought,  
"These are the two that will be going with you. I shall not the boss man has greater   
purpose for me here than this. This is Shingo and Ami. Ami is an expert in drugs and is   
a doctor. She will be testing to make sure that they are real and of.. high quality.  
Shingo is the muscles and will make sure that noting goes wrong, or nothing is funny.  
The boss wants the shipment here as soon as possible, and then after all the business is   
taken care of he wants to see you personally." I could barely hold my smile back. Finally  
I would take down the big man himself. But that would mean that the shipment would now all  
have to be real, and I would have to tell my boss to make sure that not only were the  
top and side packages real drugs but also the rest of the drugs. Often to make sure that   
in case something went wrong and the bad guys got the drugs, most of the packages would   
be full of other substances that looked like the drug, while the top and side packages were  
the real thing. But now with Ami here, I'm sure that she will be checking every package   
that I give to them. The blond left us then without even a goodbye. Shingo then picked up   
my bags that sat waiting by the coffee table, "Lets go." At least he was still a gentelmen  
and he led us out the car, placing my bags in with the rest, and we were on our way to the  
airport and on the plane. The trip to New York was long and very quiet. Shingo started   
asking me a few questions about myself. "Tell me about yourself Rena." He said as he   
mucnched on a preztel that the stewart had giving each of us. "Not much to tell.  
I'm from Tokyo, and I ran away from home to New York when I was only sixteen. Lets just  
say that life on the streets itsn't easy and you find yourself doing shit that you   
wish you didn't have to do, and then you get so deep into it that you can't get out.  
Eventually you make it so well that there is no reason to turn back.  
What about you? Whats your reasons for being in this?"  
He let out a long deep sigh, "Family problems. I found this kind of a life as an escape."   
The rest of the trip went into silence and not one word was spoken. I soon fell asleep  
and when I woke up suddenly I found Ami gone and Shingo looking at me. He quickly turned   
away, and I could almost swear I saw a blush creep across his checks, but he kept it  
carefully hidden, he was suppose to be the big bad man here. Ami returned only minutes later   
and often through out the flight I caught her gaze studying me. The plane landed and   
we claimed out baggage, got into a car, with an undercover FBI agent that I had working  
with me, and then made our way to the house that I had reserved for me and my guest.  
We went the entire way without one word to one another, and to me it was uncomfortable,  
as I was sure that it was towards at least Ami, who was still full of questions. Even  
if I could not read her eyes very well, that was something that I could tell you by  
the way that she moved and acted.   
  
It was a smaller mansion, and it was bugged and had camera's in very room, expect for the   
bathrooms, which were just bugged. Every staff member that cleaned, cooked, muscled,   
or butlered for me were really undercover agents. Ami and Shingo were given a   
complete tour of the house that I would be calling home for the next few days.   
I showed them to their rooms then, for I knew that they were tired from the long flight.  
A few minutes later I was talking to the one of the agents, a long time friend of mine,  
called Train from a bust that he had once done. It wasn't long before I let out a yawn and   
he told me to get some sleep. I let myself in to the luxury bedroom. Dressing in the   
bathroom I opened the star locket, letting the slow melody take me back to a day that   
I had been truely happy and a time that I missed so very much. A time that I still had my   
love and my friends. Once I had my shower and had my p.j.s on, I went back into the bedroom  
only this time I was no longer alone in the room.   
  
@------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Next time, find out who just is Rena's guest in her private rooms, maybe its a secret lover  
or a friend, or even an enemy. 


	11. Home Again Home Again Jiggity Jig

Finding Myself  
Chapter 9  
Home Again Home Again Jiggity Jig  
Rated PG-13  
By Earth Angel  
Email: Silver_Earth_Angel@hotmail.com  
  
@------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
Ami sat on my bed in a dark blue gown, I knew that her curiousity could not stop her   
from seeing me, but her own possition in my game would stop her from relvealing herlsef  
completely. She started to come up on her knees, the silk of her gown rolled on my   
comfortor like water. In my head I could hear the same song play again and again,  
and the whole scene made me want to cry once more, to burst out and relveal everything  
to her. She had changed so much, I hated seeing her like this. "Who are you?"  
"Names Rena Moonstone. Please don't ask me anymore tonight.  
There is a time for questions and a time for all things to be brought into the moonlight,  
and tonight is not that time. Now go to bed Princess Mercury, May Selene watch over you."  
  
Her eyes widened as if she knew, but she shook it off, knowing that it was impossible.  
"Go now Princess Mercury, I will answer your questions on another night." I said once  
more trying to get her to leave my room. Once she left I started brushing through my   
hair when a streak of silver caught my eye. I ran to my mirror and look into the glass.  
My mouth dropped open and my eyes became wide, My hair was turning silver, strand by strand  
second by second it seemed to be even more. By morning I would have completely silver  
hair. "Fuck!"   
  
@-------------------------  
  
  
The next morning after I awoke and went downstairs I had to explain to each of the 'staff'  
and my guests just why my hair was silver. I told each of them that it was sign of maturity  
in my family and it happened to relatives before.  
Ami-chan just looked at me for awhile before she turned  
back to her breakfast, "I would like to examine your hair if you don't mind."  
  
I took a sip of my orange juice. "There would be no need to really, its total normal."  
  
"Oh but I would like to see how it does it, I'm quite the scientist you know and something  
like this doens't happen very often. Please I won't take no for an answer."  
  
Later that day she took a blood and hair sample from me, then I went outside to find my   
brother playing basketball. "This a one player game or can two play."   
"Na you can play." I then stole the ball from him and put it in the hoop.   
"So how did things ever work out between you and Mika?"   
  
"How did you know about Mika?" He stopped and eyed me, as if testing me.  
  
"We were old friends, she told me about you. She made a doll once and tried to give it to you.  
It got broken and then you made her a Sailor Moon statue."  
  
He grinned at the memory and the winced. "Mika and I are still friends but we aren't dating."  
  
"Why not." I sunk another basket.  
  
"She deserves someone better. Maybe someday when I get out of this shit but until then  
I don't think its safe for her."  
  
"I agree what would your family say if they knew what kind of business you were in, specially  
your big sister?" I tossed the ball in his hands and left him there, not saying anything  
else.  
  
@--------------  
  
  
It was time. We spent a total of a week in New York getting the drugs ready to come back.  
And now here I was in Tokyo again. I had managed to dodge all questions from the two   
and each looked very much on the edge. The secret was never to get caught  
by yourself and never let them lead you away from other people.   
  
We traveld back to Tokyo, the shipment and all.   
We were in the dusty warehouse that once made toys  
for Bandi, my men and their men were   
putting the shipment onto the trucks. The French man came up and put his arm  
around my back, leading me like I was an old friend, "Come come, you do a good job, the boss   
lady wants to talk to you a little." He motioned to Shingo and Ami to follow. "She wants  
all the details."  
  
Little did he know was that while he was leading me down the dark hallway   
up above the rest of the action, my agents were kicking ass and arresting their men  
that were helping load up the drugs, and when he made it back downstairs he would find   
guns pointed at him and also be arrested and then they would all run up and help me  
bust the big one. If all goes right. Finally by the time were had taken the elevator up the   
the fourth floor he pushed the three of us into the room and then he pushed the button  
and the doors closed leaving us behind. "Come come little one." a female voice called out to   
me. We went forward our feet moving on their own will towards a voice that was so   
familiar. I realized then that this would be the first time that Ami and Shingo  
would see their boss. I could tell by how they looked at the figure that sat in the   
high throne chair in the middle of the room. And when we came directly infront of the   
throne the room was lit up with a soft light and infront of me she sat, a person that I thought  
was long gone.  
  
  
@-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
I'm doing it again. Leaving you with a cliff hanger! Ha, so who do you think sits at the   
throne, who could it be??????? I just would like some quesses don't think you know because  
you don't, there is only a small chance that you are right when it comes to my mind.  
  
  
  
  
  



	12. Chapter 10; Freeze!

:) You all didn't expect all that I bet and you won't expect this either.....  
  
  
Finding Myself  
Chapter 10  
Freeze!  
Rated PG-13  
  
@----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Dirty blond hair in a low pony tail and green eyes looked at me and my two compainions.  
"Zoycite." I uttered her name and realized that I might have just blown my cover. How   
could she still be alive. She was suppose to be dead according to Malicite.  
I remember how he wanted revenge for her death. Her green eyes narrowed at me and she  
studied me, "I remember you too." Her pale lips smirked a little smile at me. Fuck!  
None of my friends reconized me, not even my own brother, but the one person that did had  
to be the boss of the operation that I was trying to stop, and she had to be my enemy from   
a long time ago. "You are suppose to be dead Usagi Tuskino!" I heard the gasp of the two   
behind me. I had not the courage to look back at them, my greatest fear had come true,  
they had found out who I was before I had a chance to explain, and here I could not explain.  
Their silence bit threw me.  
"As are you Zoycite." She looked down at me with pure hate in her eyes,  
"I was dead but I got a second chance to come back, I came back to destroy you, to   
take from you what you took from me, and instead I find you dead and buried deep into the   
ground. I then turned to this line of work, and I took in your little brother, just knowing  
that if you were somewhere out there it would kill you to see him in this line of work.  
I guess someone was listening to my prayers to take the life from you inch by bloody inche   
because here you stand before me. But first little moon princess what happened to you."   
She really did seem interested in the story that I had to tell, I could also tell that she  
planed to destroy me after I did. "It doesn't matter what I have to say, you plan to kill me  
in the end. What is important is what I came here to do." And before she could blink  
I reached into my coat and pulled out my gun so that it was aimed right for her, all I   
had to do was pull the trigger. I should, take her life out, shes evil, she deserves to die  
I heard the whispers in my head. But my better voice reached out to me and told me that she   
would be better rotting away in a prision cell then anywhere else.  
"Freeze bitch. FBI, you're under arrest."   
  
I heard the click of pistols behind me, "You heard the lady, TPD (Tokyo Police Department)."  
I heard a gruff voice come from behind me, it must be the back up that they sent in.  
And I looked behind me to see who had come to my aide. Behind me Ami and Shingo each held  
a gun, pointed strait at Zoycite. That gruff voice had come from my brother.   
  
@------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
So do you wanna know how little brother Shingo and Ami take the news? Do you want to know  
what happens to Zoycite? Well then you'll have to review and I'll get it up as soon   
as I have it written. 


	13. Body Bag and Shadows

Readers,  
If you are unsure of how Zoycite is female I take it that you are either:  
  
A: Not a big fan  
  
or  
  
B: Have only read the manga or live in some other part of the world where our   
anime version is differnt than yours.  
  
  
In the U.S. Sailor Moon anime Zoycite is a girl, while in the manga Zoycite remains male.  
  
As on how Zoycite returned to life after being killed, thats something that I have yet  
to reveal, and something that you have yet to read. And as for Mamoru's and Usagi's  
relationship, just watch and see....  
  
  
  
Love and huggles,  
Earth Angel  
@--------------------  
  
Finding Myself  
Chapter 11  
Body Bags and Shawdows  
Rated: PG-13  
By Earth Angel  
  
  
@--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I sat on top of the police car, ushered out by the TPD, several pats on the back   
and congratulations but I felt saddness fill me, I now knew that this was just a   
bigger plot in everything and it was killing me to watch that body bag being put into   
the streacher, and the wounded into other ambulaces. It hurt to watch Ami leave  
the sirens whirling all around me, and ambulances pulling away, speeding off to the   
hospital. I didn't want to remember, but the tears welling up in my eyes seemed to   
play back everything........  
  
  
"You won't win, and even if you do he will come for you. He will destroy you for killing me   
Sailor Moon! It is because of you that Queen Beryl took her anger out on me and sent the   
final blow that killed me and it is because of you that I layed dying in my loves arms  
that day that you found out that you were the moon princess." Zoycite said   
pulling out her own gun from the other side of her. She pointed it at me knowing now   
she wanted to take her revenge.  
  
I heard my brother gasp, as he was slowly coming closer to Zoycite, he was only to the side  
of me a little in the front, but I saw him stumble over the cord, that lay in the middle   
of the room, taking in the shock that his older sister was a princess and Sailor Moon,  
and I saw the gun fall, from his hands it tumbled onto the floor, and shot that   
bitch Zoycite, right in the shoulder, causing her to shot of her own gun before   
she dropped it. The bullet came strait at me, that little piece of metal that could wound  
me or take my life, it wouldn't have been the first time that I had been shot, but somehow  
I knew that this bullet would be my last, it was as if I were seeing it all from slow  
motion looking back now. because the next thing I knew was that I was tumbling to the   
floor, my silver hair forming a curtain around me, it might have blocked my vision, but  
it did not block my hearing because the next sound was the sound that I feared most,  
the scream of pain. And as I lifted up my head, the silver curls slid back, and I saw   
Ami standing their her hand holding her stomache, the fabric around her tight blue shirt  
red and wet with blood. And as she felt the single tear drops of blood squeezed out   
from between her fingers and rolled down her pale white hand, landing on the concreat   
floor in front of her, she smiled and fell. I caught her in my arms, "Why Ami?" I whispered  
into her ear. "Its my job to protect you, but I did it because I love you. I always will.  
Forgive me?" She said with difficulty.  
  
I didn't even notice that I was crying until later, when my checks were puffy and my eyes  
were dry and itchy. And as I looked down into her blue eyes of love, I realized something,  
something that at this time I could not put into words.  
  
"I love you, and I should be the one asking for forgiveness, I  
left you here!" I was screaming at her, half shaking her, as her eyes slowly started to close.  
"Please stay awake Ami-chan! Please!" Somewhere behind me I heard the others enter, I   
remembering hearing words, shouts, and a another sound I care not to remember at this time.  
What mattered to me then was only Ami, nothing else, and somewhere in this realm of only her  
I felt my brothers strong hands on my shoulders. "Then I guess we're even. I wasn't  
there for you emotionally when I should have been. I'm sorry I can't stay awake..."  
She whispered those last words to me, and the men that entered came and carried her  
away from me and the rest I really don't remember. I just remember seeing color,  
swirls of red and blue, cops taking away the enemies, to their bared up cells.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@  
  
I sat there until I felt another presence near me and I looked up to see my brother.  
He no longer looked young, he no longer looked like a troubled boy. As I studied him,  
he looked like a man, proud and strong. His muscles not clearly visible through the   
thight black shirt he wore, a slight stubble on his face seemed to add a couple more years,  
even his size seemed bigger than the little push over that I had meet, and his eyes showed   
hardness yet concern in all the right places. This was not the young boy that I had meet  
that was deep into the drug world, that was all just an act I could see that now,  
and how well he played the part, for now infront of me stood a grown man,  
that had confidence and courage. He just stood there his eyes upon the ground.  
  
"Are you really Usagi?" He asked me, I could tell that he feared that I really might not   
be the one that he wanted, and somehow I knew that I would never be the same girl that   
he wanted back into his life. I simpley shock my head yes, and I could see his fist ball up.  
  
"How? I found you, you weren't breathing, I saw you in the coffin, they put you in the   
ground." I could hear the anger in his voice, the tears glittered in the moonlight,  
yet he refused to let them fall.  
  
"I faked it all, I took a pills, but as you now know I am Sailor Moon, and once I was  
the princess of the moon. With being that person I have been given certain...  
powers. While I appeared dead I was only sleeping in another realm. And late into   
the night, I rose up out of my grave and hopped onto a plane and needed up in New York."  
  
  
He raised his fearishly bright green eyes unto my face, "Why?!" I could tell that he   
was hurt, that he was scared, that he might not want to hear my answer, hoping that   
I had to leave for good reason that were a matter of life or death.  
  
"You want the truth Shingo, little brother, I have no good explaination,  
I left for selfish reasons, I wanted to find out who I was deep down in side.  
I went there and ended up turning into someone that I was not, and I thought I was who  
I wanted to be, but then I saw I had in the end become what everyone else wanted me to be.  
Then I realized that I was not the girl that you knew, and I was not the girl that anyone  
else wanted me to become, I was the girl inbetween both. That is who I am and that is who  
I wanted to be. I will not regret what I did to find myself, but I will regret losing   
you and all the people that I loved in the process of it all. I thought that I had to give  
up everyone I loved and cared about. I thought that to truely find myself I had to shut   
everyone out, the I turned into what they wanted, but in the end I found out who I was.   
I missed alot in your life, but I want to be there for the rest of it."  
  
"I want you here for the rest of it." He whispered and I threw my arms around him and he   
pulled me into the biggest bear hug he had ever given me and he picked me up,  
something that he was once to small to do.   
  
"You'll have to see mom and dad, they were never the same after your 'death'."  
  
Yes I realized that this would come, "Just let me tell them on my own time."  
  
He shock his head in agreement, and I felt the alarms going off in my head. Danger  
they cried out to me, "Shingo I have something I need to do, go to the hospital,  
I will meet you there and then you can explain why everyone thinks your a no good,  
gangster, instead of the cop you really are."   
  
"Alright, but be careful." I looked up and him and gave him a kiss on his cheek.  
He was looking at me with big, childlike eyes, that cried out to me "Don't leave  
me alone." But I knew that I had to, I didn't know what or why, but I had to get   
out of there, and as I raced down the street I felt the saddness of the day take over.  
The tears welled up into my eyes, this was what I could not let them see, I could not  
let them see me cry, I had to be strong. And as I ran, crying, I found myself at that  
same bench, next to the rose that Mamoru had left. I called out the names of everyone that  
I had hurt, by leaving them behind, by faking my death, and I looked up to the stars,  
they were bright in my tears, "I love you!" I cried and collasped on the bench.  
That was all I remembered, but my dreams were filled with roses and love, dreams that I   
had not had since I had left Tokyo. But somewhere in my dream world I felt reality around me  
and a cold shawdow came upon my body and gathered me into its arms. Some how I could not  
wake up, but I feared that it was the one that Zoycite warned me about.   
  
@-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
WAHHHHHHAHAHAHAH!!!! You will have to wait to find out more... okay so its not that  
great of a cliffhanger but I almost left you with none and then I realized I couldn't  
do that, its just not me. 


	14. Finding Love Again

Hey readers!! Sorry I haven't been able to update lately. I'm on the swim team plus a bunch of clubs and it takes a lot of my time. But the swim season is now over. And I have a bunch of time. This chapter has been ready for a month but I havent been able to log in. I hope that you havent forgotten about this!   
  
There will be a chapter update by next week. Promise.  
  
As for you that are questioning my immortality version. There are two major types of immortals you got you classic nothing can kill me, I'll forever stay young type of immortal and then you have your other type where they can be killed but if they are not they will live forever. As long as the body can fix it they will contiune to live. As in Serenas case the system can clean out the drugs, but it can not push a bullet out of the body, and if it can not push it out the bullet will remain and the body can not function right if the bullet is in taking up the space that is needed to work. Do you get what I am saying? Serena is the lower class of immortals where she can live forever as long as nothing messes up her insides so bad that the body can no longer function. And if you are thinking that the senshi are immortals you are kinda right, they are even lower class power than Serena and it takes less to kill them.   
  
Oh and some of you are predicting or should I say you have been lead on wrong.  
  
WARNING WARNING there is a part that is a little hentai it is no worse than a V.C. Andrews book, and yet not as bad either... I put up a little warning where it starts and where ends in case you don't want to read it.  
  
Now on to the show I go.....  
  
  
  
Finding Myself Chapter 12 Finding Love Again Rated H/PG-13 By Earth Angel  
  
@----------------------  
  
The night became colder and I slept through it all. But my nightmares haunted me. I was always running in my sleep and tonight it seemed only worse. I felt the darkness come and the day break, but I could not open my eyes, I could not move. All I could do was lay there and feel the world around me. It wasn't long into the dawn did I finally feel the warmth and comfort around me, as someone strong picked me up off the cold stone. For a moment I was fourteen again and nothing could hurt me in my safe little world of make believe. The sent of roses filled my spirit world, and I knew that I was no longer alone. A soft hand touched my own, and a feeling of warmth and fresh energy seemed to flow into me. I felt my body being lifted and into strong arms, and I knew I was safe with this person.  
  
I remained in the darkness but I started to drift away from my earth form, my mind was on other things tonight, and slowly light started to shine forth to me, and I found myself in the hospital. I drifted from room to room, realizing I had no control on where I was to go or to do. It was as if someone wanted me to see something. And even thought I had no control over where my spirit went, I wasn't scared. I found a waiting room, she sat her there, tears gathering in her eyes. Time had taken its toll on the once beautiful doctor, or maybe it was this ordeal. A younger man in a doctors scrubs walked into the room, a tired look was in his eyes. "Dr. Mizuno, we managed to remove the bullet and sew up the damage that it caused, luckily it didn't hit any organs. But she did lose a lot of blood and will be weak for the next couple of days."   
  
(AN: HA! A bunch of you thought I killed Ami, WRONG!! hehehe)  
  
I saw the relife in Dr. Mizuno's face, and I drifted into Ami's room. She was fast asleep, and IV hooked up to her arm, replaced the blood that once sept out of her body. I drifted and time seemed to pass, on the streets the people moved in fast forward there bodies moving like ghost through mine. But my strenght began to regather, and I was feeling for the first time in years, refreshed and young again. Its funny, I don't remember the last time I got a good nights sleep since I came to New York, and I don't think I went on one vacation either. I always had to work, or do something. I never had time to do something that I wanted to do. I never went a day without a care or worry. Even now I had one major worry filling my mind it was my nightmare.   
  
I don't know how much time had pasted when I found myself in the cemetary, infront of a stone, the name freshly engraved into the granite. ZOYCITE. She was my fear, she was my worry. She had died once and she had come back. What was to stop her from coming back again? "Don't worry Serenity." No voice had spoken to me so clearly until that point. I knew that voice so well, it was a voice of crystal, a voice that had always comforted me when I needed it, the voice of a person that loved me and taken care of me, read me stories late at night, it was my mother, I had not seen her since I had left for New York. I looked up at the moon to see my mother appear in the ray of light. "She wont return daughter, don't let your worries ruin your life. You can't live your life in fear anymore, you need to be happy. Do what is in your heart." She slowly disappeared and her words of love hung in the air.   
  
My eyes fluttered open to see a very white ceiling. I knew that ceiling, sure it was white and it had no texture, but I knew that ceiling. Hey you just know okay. As I pulled the blankets off around me I arosed the sent of roses, and as I sat up a man walked into the room. We took one look into each others eyes, and I knew that there was no way to deny who I was. He knew the color of my eyes better than he knew the color of a rose or the sea. The tray that he was carrying fell to the floor as we studied each other, he had aged little in the last few years, hints of wrikles sat upon his face, and tiredness rest in his weary eyes. Out came a harsh whisper from his soft lips, "Its you isn't it?" I knew I couldn't hide it and I wasn't sure if I wanted to. My shields around me were in tatters and he could easily search through my head and get his answers, so I didn't try to hide it. I ripped down my walls and showed all to him and shook my head in an answer yes. "Mamo-chan" I whispered with longing. I looked at him afraid of his reaction, a fear that I had come to know like you would a friend. He forgot the tray and came closer his lips came upon mine, hard and yet gentle. Like he was trying to make sure I was there but at the same time be tender.   
  
:::Almost hentai part starts here::::  
  
His tounge parted our lips as both of our tounges danced together. He pushed me down onto the bed, and we started stripping off each others clothing. I knew that we were going to far, and yet I couldn't stop him, and I couldn't stop myself. We were to lovers that had been kept apart when we shouldn't have. We needed to feel each other and be togther heart and soul. Our passion was a flame, as he sucked me, he hardness pushed into me. We made love like there was no tomorrow. Like all we had was now. We exploded and soared. Together in a rhymic beat. We were made to fit together like this for all eternity. We made love with passion and tenderness. I showed all to him. We were together heart and soul, forever bounded by our love for one another. He loved me for who I was, kissing away all my tears.   
  
::Ends::  
  
We made love into the early morning light and then again til mid afternoon. We didn't here the knocking at the door. When I awoke in Mamoru arms the sheets hidding our nakedness, I didn't expect to see another person come bursting through that bedroom door. "Just what the fuck do you think you are doing Mamoru!" Rei yelled when she saw the scene in the bedroom, to lovers caught red handed. But the surprise was on me the most, I didn't expect Rei's stomach to be swollen, large and round, showing off her pregancy.  
  
@---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 


	15. Denial

Sorry it wasnt out as promised I had kinda a writers block in the beginning. This   
stroy is almost finished......I think.....  
  
Finding Myself  
Chapter 13  
Denial  
Rated: PG-13  
By Earth Angel  
Email: Silver_Earth_Angel@hotmail.com  
  
@-----------------------------------------  
  
All three pairs of eyes were wide with shock and embarssment. "You t-talked!?" Mamoru managed  
to sputter out of his mouth. He didnt seem shocked that his lover had walked in on him and   
another girl, but more by the fact that she brought forth words. Her voice was a little   
scratchy but other than that it was beautiful, and not one soul had heard it in the last few   
years. Rei placed her balled fists on him hips, "Of course I can talk! Not talking and   
not being able to talk are two different things. But how could you do this?! How could   
you cheat on Usagi." Wait a minute back-track cheat on me. That must mean that they are not  
lovers and the child is not Mamoru.   
"Yeah sure its been a few years, but her spirit must be crying to know that you threw some   
random whore in your bed." Rei said. Mamoru started to protest against her. I could   
tell he was very uncomfortable with her in his room while he and I were naked.   
"But Rei-chan this is Usagi!" He said, that seemed to silence Rei but only for a moon minute.  
  
"I bet I know what this is, you're trying to pretend that she is   
Usagi, after all this girl saved us once in battle. She reminds you of Usagi in that way,   
so you tracked her down and slept with her. Mamoru get over it. Usagi is gone and dead. We   
all saw her in the casket. Her body is now gone and she forever sleeps."  
Rei cried, tears welling in her eyes.  
  
For a girl that decided not to talk for a few years she sure had a lot to   
say all at once. Mamoru shook his head, trying to wipe off the look of shock in his express.  
  
"But Rei-"  
  
"NO!! I dont want to hear it."   
  
"Tell her that you are who you are Usagi." He looked to me for help, but I only bit my lip and  
kept my silence. I looked at him and then to the crying girl, my mouth opened but no words   
came. Rei looked at me with hatred and discust and then looked at Mamour.  
  
"Let her go Mamoru." She started to leave the room, and then turned back slightly, her  
purple eyes on the rose in the vase on Mamoru's table. "I came over here to tell you Ami-chan's  
in the hospital. She was shot last night, but shes going to be okay. I dont know anymore than  
that." And then she just walked away, we sat in silence for a few seconds until we heard   
the apartment door slam shut behind her. Then he turned on me.  
  
"Why didnt you just tell her it was you?" He looked at me, his dark sea blue eys showed pain,  
hurt, anger, confusion. I didn't know how to answer that question, because I was asking myself  
that in my own mind. I was scared. I couldn't let him see that. I could let him think I was   
still that crybaby that was scared of a storm. So I shielded him out, and lied.  
"Things are different now." The tension grew between us, making the bed cold and the sheets  
were like stones. I crawled out of the bed, in the nude. I didn't try to hide my body this time.  
Some how deep down I knew this gave him an impression of me, and I wanted to make him jealous.  
I was once again beginning to hate what I once was, that crybaby of a girl. I knew that she   
was part of me, that she was me and yet she was not.   
"Where's the Usagi that I knew." This voice was lit with a small ray of hope.  
  
"What the ditzy crybaby? The flakey girl that couldn't pass a class if her life depended on it?"  
  
I waited for his answer while I dressed. I thought that I knew what it would be, but I was wrong.  
  
"Yes. I miss her. She was girl that could light up anyones day. She would go out of her  
way to help anyone no matter if they were good or evil. She fought for love and justice.  
She loved flowers and I thought she loved me as much as I love her."  
  
I started towards the door. But he grabbed my wrist holding me back. His warm body pressed  
up against my own. "Did you love me Usagi? Do you still love me? Answer me this before you go."   
  
"I did love you."  
  
"And now?"  
  
"I still do." I whispered. (AN: IF YOU HAVE BECOME CONFUSED THE NEXT LINES WILL SORT EVERYTHING  
OUT)  
  
He searched my soul with questions, he didn't speak but I knew his questions,  
Why did I do what I did, why did I leave. Who was I? So I answered.  
  
"I came to hate everything I was, who I was. Everyone was trying to shape me into something  
so I thought if I got away, I would have a chance to be myself. I kept a part of me hidden   
from everyone else. I went to New York, I wrote, I painted, I got good grades, I joined the   
FBI. I became graceful, athletic. I learned control and discipline.  
I didn't realize that in trying to become myself I was becoming someone that   
everyone else wanted me to be and what I thought I should be. I wanted to be that girl, but  
I wanted to be the girl that left Japan, happy. Thats why I left and thats who I am. I am   
the Usagi you knew but I'm different now. I grew up. Now the question is, can you still love   
me for who I am. I can't be the Champion of Love and Justice.   
And I'll have to approach everyone and tell them that I'm still kicking when I feel the need."  
  
He looked at me and smiled and pulled me into his warm embrase, back into his bed. I knew then  
that he and I would always be together. He convinced me that day to move out of the   
hotel room and into his apartment. He said that would get it fixed so that I was alive, you   
know in the paperwork and government sense, of course after everyone knew. I was in my hotel  
room packing when the phone call came threw. I don't know how he reached me but it didn't   
matter. It was Motoki, his voice was weary over the phone and he was hidding something.  
  
"Are you sitting down..."  
  
"Yes." He was scaring me.   
  
"Its Mamoru......"  
  
  
@------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
WHAHAHAHAHA!!! What will Motoki say about Mamoru? I dont know yet myself so don't assume!  
It drives me nuts when you guys assume on the replies. 


	16. Til Death Takes You Away

Hi minna, I have some bad news kinda. I'm going to Arizonia next week but my grandma's   
computer is so old that it doesn't even have CD-ROM and no internet. I'll be back on the  
second or so. I'm sorry again that I've been busy. I'll try to have a chapter out next week.  
I've been having to celebrate christmas early, guess what my mom got me, my varisty jacket  
and my belly-button pierced!! I'm so happy. But like I said I'll try I just have so much I've  
been having to do before I go, and I have school and work on top of that all.   
  
  
  
I'm going to put up a live journal on the net. I'll let you guys know when I do for sure.  
But if you are interested in keeping up with me on that, my writing will be much like this.  
You also might be able to figure out on that when I plan to post the next chapter to a story  
hint hint.  
  
  
  
Finding Myself  
Chapter 14  
Till Death Takes You Away  
Rated PG-13  
By: Earth Angel  
Email: Silver_Earth_Angel@hotmail.com  
  
Written- December 14, 2001  
  
  
@-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I sat in the waiting room of the hospital, waiting, thats why they called it a waiting room.  
Can't you tell that I'm trying to destract myself, trying to destract myself on what might   
happen. The room was empty, well almost empty, Motoki sat across from me. When I rushed in   
he did not hug me or try to comfort me, I knew that there were tears in my eyes and my  
black clothing seemed to match the mood that I was now in. He acted distant, like I was a   
total stranger, I knew that deep down he was trying not to break out and cry, or at least the   
Motoki I knew from so long ago would be trying his best not to, he was scared and he was trying   
to hide behind the ice, like I did for so many years. "Mamoru was on his motercycle. The driver  
that hit him was driving a semi truck, he just lost control. They don't know how he'll be,  
Usagi. They say the chances are not good."  
He wasn't as if he was telling her but telling himself, trying to convince himself  
of the terrible thing that had just happened to the man that he thought of as a brother,  
a brother that he might never see alive again, and I lover I might never see alive again.  
"Why did you call me Mokoti, I know that you feel that I don't have the right to be walking   
back into their lives, I know I feel that way myself, but why did you call me?" He looked me  
straight in the eyes, blue to green, green to blue. "Because he loves you more than anything   
else on this world, if he has a reason to live it is for you." The television in the corner   
was at a low mummble and the black and white clock ticked away, the seconds turned to minutes  
and the minutes turned into hours. It felt like we had been there for an enterinty. My eyes  
were filled consentely with tears, as I looked back at all the times that I had shared with   
my Mamo-chan, the first kiss and that sweet final last kiss that we had shared at his door  
step. I couldn't bare the thought of losing him now. I had lost him once because I couldn't  
see things clearly. And now that we were together again, that love that we once felt had  
multipilied a hundred times, the times that he touched me were no longer sparks but   
strong thunder bolts that coursed through our bodies, shaking the two of us to our cores.  
  
  
It was three hours, fourty three minutes, and thirteen seconds when the doctor walked in, his  
scurbs sticking to his damp body, his face mask in his hand. His face had an unreadable   
expression, one filled with remorse. As he came into the room Motoki and I came onto our  
feet like the zombies that we were at this late hour in the night. He looked at the two of   
us, "I have been the surgeon working on Mr. Chiba the last few hours. There was some internal  
bleeding, but we managed to sew it up. There were a couple of broken bones, and some major  
bruising-"   
  
"So he's gonna be alright?" I asked with hope. "In the accient Mr. Chiba seems to have   
hit his head on something. He was wearing a helmet but the object was so massive and the   
speed that he was going cracked his helmet and has left him with a major head injury.   
Right now he is on life support in a deep coma. The next twenty four hours will be critical   
but we feel that he will never wake again and if he ever did, there is a good chance of major  
brain damage, or he might be a vegetable. I have been taught Mr. Chiba position and we feel  
that we should leave the decision to take him off the life support should be made up by the   
two of you and any more people that you feel is nessecery. I'm sorry." The doctor gave his   
final evaulation before turning and leaving the room. I feel into the chair near me,  
silent tears burned down my face. I wanted to hit Mamoru I wanted to yell at him, how could   
he leave me here, how could he do this to me? I thought that we were going to be together   
forever, and he lied to me. I felt the strong arms around me and the sent of vanilla and   
after shave filled my nostils. I looked up into the crying red eyes of Motoki. We didn't   
need words as we held each other and cried.   
  
@-------------------  
  
Time pasted and Motoki called the girls, the senshi to come. He felt that they had a decision in  
all of this. Each senshi came to the waiting room, even Ami in her hospital gown, drugged full  
of pain killers. They each gave me a glare, except for Ami. The others thought I was   
Mamoru's lover. I could tell that they wanted me gone. That they felt I had no right to decide  
if the man in there was to live on life support for the rest of his life, or until he woke up,  
or if he found his body buried within the sands of time, a stone figurehead marking   
where worms would eat away at this flesh and make homes out of his hallow skull.  
  
Motoki explained what the doctor had said, and there was not one dry eye  
at the table by the time he was done, they sobbed and moaned. "We lost both the princess  
and the prince." Venus sobbed out. Ami stopped suddenly, realizing that there was something   
wrong with that statement. "But we didn't vous the princessshe's right herre." Her long   
pale finger pointed at me. "Ami, Usagi is dead thats not her." Each girl looked saddely   
at there friend. Motoki glared at me knowing my secret, and I only gave him a guilty look.  
He leaned over to me and whispered into my ear, the girl watching out of the corners of their   
eyes. "You must tell them, I feel that you dont deserve them anymore, but still they need   
you. Now is not the time to think of this, we must focus only on Mamoru, but later you must   
tell them." I nodded in agreement he was right. The girls they called me Rena and as far  
as they knew I had to be special to Mamoru to take me into his bed. Finally we came to our  
decision. We couldn't keep him on that blasted machine, we couldn't let him live as a veggie,  
we were going to remove it. One by one we flittered into the room giving our last respects,  
I was last, as I walked into that white room and my eyes feel upon him. It didn't look like  
him. His lips were cracked a large tube coming out, brusise on his handsome face, his blue  
eyes shut hidding out that color that I knew so well. A line of stitches on one side of the   
head stood out on his pale winter white skin. I kissed his forhead, the thunder rolled through  
my body, and I knew that it rolled through his, but still his eyes did not open. I sat in   
the blue chair next to his bed and took his hand, letting all the emotions I felt go to him.  
"Mamoru, you are my heart, my soul, my life. You are my one true love and I will always  
love you no matter how far the distance. That time I was in New York the only man I ever thought  
about was you. I'll never forget that day that I threw my test paper at you or all those times  
that we fought together. I will always keep the first kiss to the last in my heart as well   
as the first and last time we made love. Don't leave me Mamo-chan." I cried into the palm of   
his hand. Placing it against my check like he use to do. This would be the last time that   
he touched me. I kissed his forhead and hands one last time, and called for the others  
to join me. This would be the ending of a chapter in my life, this will be something that will  
forever remain in my mind, shapping me. I know now that it's not just experience that  
shapes you but love. We all crowed around his whispering our one last goodbyes. And the   
doctor reached down and flipped the switch that turned off the machine.  
  
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppppppppp "Time of death-"  
  
Beep... Beep.. Beep. And hope filled the hearts of all that were in the room.  
  
  
@------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Ohh.. well at least hes still alive, but what about the side effects of the accident? Evil  
arent I? 


	17. Chapter 15; A Little Surprise

I'm Back!!! I bet you all have forgotten this story by now its been so long. I've just been   
so sick and so swamped. New paths have been clearned. New chapter next week.  
  
  
Chapter 15  
A Little Surprise  
Rated: PG-13  
BY: Earth Angel  
Email Silver_Earth_Angel@hotmail.com  
  
  
Time passed and Mamoru stayed in a coma. The doctors said that he may never come out that   
he may be a vegetable for the rest of his days. Somedays he would open his eyes and look at you  
but those eyes were blank and dull, no soul. The doctors said that it was natural for him to be   
moving around and maybe even talking or moaning scattered words in his eternal sleep. He called  
out, he called out for me in, bringing saddness to each face, each knowing that what Mamoru   
wanted was to be with me, and I was dead. Ami came to me one day, and looked me in the   
eye "It hurts them you know, when do you plan to tell them." I could only look at her   
and she walked away, her back turned to me. But right before she reached the door "Ami,  
call the others together I will tell them." I was ready to deal with this. I had to. I had  
a plane ticket in my pocket, dated to leave in two days time. I was facing each of my fear.  
My baby brother somehow managed to track me down, he thought at first that I might have skipped  
out on him. He pressured me into coming to see mom and dad. Said that it would help them.  
Maybe give them a couple more years onto their already shortened lives. He had it all  
set up too the night that he came to me, he knew that I couldn't say no to this. Tomorrow   
night I was to go to their door and Mom would answer. Mom and Dad would be expecting   
company, for Shingo told them that he had a surprise for them and to plan for an extra person  
at the dinner table that night. Mom would proable think that Shingo was engaged to be married.  
How I missed her nagging, her chocolate chip cookies, her kisses. And Dad's strong arms  
and long stories. I stood up and left Mamrou's side, walking into the waiting room where   
they all sat. "Whats the Bitch want." Rei snarled knowing full well that I had joined them.  
I threw on my best high pitched Usagi voice. "OHhhhh you Rei, at least I'm not as big as a   
blimp. It seems I've gone from Meatball Head to Bitch rather suddenly don't you." Rei's   
mouth droped, it touched the floor, and along with everyone elses, expect Ami of course.  
"Usag-i-chan-n." Minako spit out. "Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Mercury how I missed you all."  
  
.......Three girls came running, pushing, and shoving placing each of their arms around me.  
  
I wasn't sure if I should hug back or call and warn the city that that earthquake was nothing   
serious, even though it just leveled half the city. Serious, see that picture on the wall. No   
of course you don't, look at the floor. Yes you see it now its behind the coffee table.   
  
"Where were you Usagi-chan?" the dancing green eyes of Makoto asked.  
  
"I felt that I needed sometime to find myself. I knew that I couldn't do it here so I faked  
my death. I found myself. Turns out that I'm not only the girl that you wanted me to be but   
more, and I'm still that whinny cry baby, just matured a bit.  
I'm sorry that I caused you all so much pain, I figured at the time you wouldn't care,  
that I was a burden. But I see now that I was wrong."  
  
They understood, they welcomed me back with open arms. Rei was   
alittle stubborn about it all. Saying that I had no right to leave like that but then again  
she was glad that I was alive and well. They were still somewhat mad for the way that I left.  
But me being alive somehow seemed to be the only thing that mattered. We each told the stories  
of our lives since I had been gone, and of all those around us.  
  
"Then Mamoru knew. How long?" Rei pipped up  
  
"The day that you came, not even twenty four hours. He knew a couple of weeks before the   
accident. I was going to move into his apartment, transfer to live and work here, and then  
tell you all that I was alive. But thats not whats going to happen now. I've been called   
back home for a assignment. Who knows how long before it will be over so I plan to give   
birth and raise my baby there."  
  
"BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!" Four voices screamed the words so loud that it could be heard clear onto   
the next floor.  
  
@----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
HEHEHEHEHE!!!!! 


	18. Trouble

Hehe. Heres the next chapter. Errr.. I hate life, all I want to do is write stories for   
you guys yet the world, they keep me busy. But good news, see I usually work 20 hours a week,  
but they are cutting down till March so I get more free time. I can't promise a chapter until  
sometimes next week, this week see is full!   
  
  
~NEWS FLASH~ REALLY BIG NEWS FLASH:   
  
I have been one of four students selected in my high   
school to attend the 8th Annual Students Against Gun Violence in Arlenton, Virginia. The   
greatest part is its all paid for. Anyways if you happen to live there, and you have   
your own car, if you want to stop by my hotel and meet me it would be great. I love   
meeting SM fans and such and other writers. Just email me if you are interested.   
  
  
Finding Myself  
Chapter 16  
Trouble   
Rated: PG-13  
By: Earth Angel  
Email: Silver_Earth_Angel@hotmail.com  
  
  
@---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Flashback...  
  
  
"Ding Dong." Rang the bell that I had heard so many times before, never before had I thought   
that I would be the one ringing it. Shingo opened the door with a quick hello he took my hand   
and held me so that I walked behind him. "Mom, Dad. The person that I invited over here  
is someone that you knew." Slowly I walked out from behind my brother, "Hi Mom, Dad. How are   
you."   
  
"....Usagi..." Dad whispered .....BANG.... mom hit the floor.  
  
  
Well once mom woke up, I hoped that I would have a chance to explain, but dad   
didn't quite take it all that well. He told me that he was happy to see me and that he loved  
me and missed me as did mom. But I could tell that my father was still bitter over what I had  
put them through. I didn't want to shock them to much that night, so I didn't tell them   
all of my story. I figure I better save that for another night.  
  
"Why Usagi?" They asked me.  
  
"My life was not my own. I was not happy with who I was, and I was not happy with what everyone  
else was trying to make me. So I ran off, I figured it would be best to break all ties and   
faked my death. I tried to become the women that I thought I was but in the end I realized   
that I had only become what everyone else had wanted me to be. And I was not only that person  
but the person that they were trying to get me to stop being. I was somewhere inbetween."  
  
Then Shingo and I went on to tell them the story of how we had come to be reunited once more  
and mother started asking her mothering questions. "So Usagi, you married, do I have   
grandchildren?"  
  
"Mommmmm.... I'm not married, but a grandchild is on the way....." I smiled and then realized  
that my father was not. I guess that he always expected me to be his little girl, he   
was always so protective of me. "Well we would have been, you remember Chiba Mamoru, when I   
returned our love was still strong. We would have married, but a horrible accident has left   
him in a coma."  
  
"Ohh... dear, I am so sorry, if there is anything you need just let us know." my mother said   
with concern and love. But I instead refused the offer, "I don't need anything, I can well   
enough provide for the baby and myself on the living that I have made."   
  
End of Flashback  
  
Earlier that month,  
it wasn't just a job transfer that I had made over to Japan's best forces, but a promotion   
that they had offered me to join them. That night I slept in my own bed for the first time   
in years, bonding with the family that I had left behind in sorrow. I planned to stay in   
Tokyo close to the people that I loved, but as time went on my stomache began to swell. I   
should have been gainning weight, but instead it almost looked as if I was losing, since   
I could barely eat, and if I did I would throw it up. I had problems sleeping,  
each night I would toss and turn in the bed that I once shared with him, or even the one  
at my parent's home, and he would fill my thoughts and what little dreams I had. Each night it  
seemed I would end up sobbing into my feather soft pillows back into the fetal position that   
I had started in. I spent most of my free time at the hospital, at Mamo-chan's bed side.   
It hurt so much to watch him slowly begin the fade farther into the world, to watch him   
body slowly breaking down infront of me. And instead of the strong hansome man that I had   
loved so dearly his vessel looked weak and frail to me, like a toddler could snapp him in too.  
My work began to suffer, and I caught very virus that went around. The senshi and my family  
pointed it out and first, and then they stopped, just looking at me with worried faces.   
They tried to convince me to go to the doctor, I always said that I would make a appointment,  
but I never would, convincing myself that I didn't have enough time.   
  
Then one day at work, I start to get woozy and the room spun around me, I waited for it to   
pass but this was the worst spell that I had ever had, I couldn't focus. I felt the pain in   
my stomache and I felt fear in my heart, what if I lost the baby. I fell onto my knees,  
the pain was intense. Slowly the burred images started to become black and my mind could no   
longer grip what was happening as I fell into a dreamless sleep.  
  
@----------------------------------------  
  
This might now seem like a lot but it was suppose and was longer but I did some editing and   
decided to change the story around a bit. So what was suppose to happen in this chapter  
is going to happen next time. 


	19. Return for the Better

YEA YEA YEA I know I know, been busy. Not only that but with all the changes around here,  
I had problems trying to figure this site out. It seems that its almost back to the normal  
so expect more from all my stories in about two or three weeks. Love ya and thanks for   
waiting.  
  
  
  
Finding Myself  
Chapter 17  
Return For the Better  
Rated PG-13  
  
@------------------------------------------  
  
  
It seemed that I was in the dark void for only but minutes, but as I awoke I realized that more  
time had passed than I have orginally thought. My family was by my side in the white hospital  
rooms that was almost exactly the same as the one next to it and the one next to that.   
Flowers filled my room, allowing their sweet fragrence into my nose, and I took note that   
my favorite flower, yet at the same time my most hated for it brought memories back to mind,  
was nowhere to be found in this small and quaint room of mine. A thin white tube filled   
with liquids ran into my pale bony arm, feeding me like I was but a babe fresh into   
the world, and the bag above me my feeding bottle. My family and friends gathered around me  
in happiness, as I could clearly read, hugging me and sorts, tired expressions of joy  
written upon their face. It was then that an unfamiliar stranger entered my room,   
the doctor stated the white coat and doctor tools that hung from her. I sat in silence the   
whole entire time, as she asked each person to leave the room, she told me what I had   
already know, that I could no longer go on like this, and like a fool, I confined in her,   
maybe it was because I had been so weak, and the more I sit and think of this the more that  
I realize that I am becoming more of the Usagi that everyone wanted, the one that I had become  
in New York, only this was a true Rena, this was not a mask that I was placing on my face,   
that could easily be taken off, this was something deeper, that had been made not by one   
person alone, but by events that had happened in life, everything as a whole, is what  
makes a person, its not just the people around that certain someone, nor the parents that  
decided, nor the person themself. Maybe this is what I had failed to realize in the   
first place, when I went on about finding myself so many times, I seemed to only confuse   
myself even more, now do I finely have the answer? Do I know the meaning on life? Do I know  
myself. And the more I thought that if I ask myself these questions I knew that their was  
something much deeper that I was missing. Something that I was so close too, and yet it was  
slipping me by, and I knew that I had to find the answers to my questions soon or else,  
I might never find them.   
  
I told the doctor of my problem, of my lost lover. And she told me everything that I had  
already known, but refused to see for myself. I needed to return to New York, the   
city that I had tried to make myself in, I needed to get away from those that were caging me in   
like they did so many years ago, I had become free since then, and I needed that independence  
once more she said or I would never make it on my own again, she told me I needed to get away  
from the places that brought me sorrow, and try to get back on track, to take a break from  
life. And so I must return to the big city that I had loved and leave behind all that had   
shattered me in this life. How can a girl screw up something that was meant to be so simple  
at first. So I would return to New York, and there I would live, for my baby's life  
depended on it, if she were to survive, for right now, according to the doctor, my child  
would mostly likely not. 


	20. He Stood There

Ha! Here is the next chapter, I will post this up and go ahead and start the next chapter.   
Please enjoy, thats for waiting around for it. As most of you can guess the story is coming   
to an end, find the end has not been easy for me, and it caused writer's block in huge  
porportions even on my other stories. So now that I'm working through it, all stories should  
come with new chapters soon.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Finding Myself  
Chapter 18  
He Stood There  
By: Earth Angel  
Email: Silver_Earth_Angel@hotmail.com  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I found myself wandering the streets of New York, they had become so familiar to me.   
I was home, but everyday I longed for the beauty of Tokyo. I couldn't return to the work  
I had been doing and I found myself teaching new recruits such work as that. I grew stronger  
with each passing day, and the doctors were more confident about the child inside me living,  
though they were still at a point of caution. I found it easier to again  
sever the ties in Tokyo and pretend like none of it had ever happened.   
The post office and the phone company blocked every letter and call from Tokyo for me.   
I was living inside my own dream world, what was even greater was the fact that I was pulling  
off the illusion to myself. The only reminder was that inside of me. The nearer I came to my  
due date the more scared I became. I had decided that if the child lived, she would find   
comfort with two parents instead of one broken mother. As soon as she was born I would sign   
the paper of adoption, a few suitable families had already been found to taken in my daughter.  
The streets were warm that day, and I looked around to see so many cultures and   
differneces thrown in together. I loved it, some looked me, others didn't even see me. I   
stopped at a small cart and picked up a single daisy. As I was paying for it, the smell of the   
cashiers roses glimmered in my nose. A single tear streamed down my face, and I barely even   
noticed.  
Pain had come to easily to bear, I had learned everything the hard way. I   
climbed up the steps into the building, clutching my small bag of groceries and my daisy.   
My heart pounded, warning me, something was different, the smell of roses was still with me.   
Something was wrong, run said my mind, but my body pushed me forward. What could it be?   
Maybe I would be safe in my apartment, but the door was slightly ajar, I should have run.   
Everything was telling me to, I was stupid, I moved forward. Why did I move forward? What was  
calling me that strong? I pushed open the door and looked into the room, he stood there. My  
bag feel from my arms, I heard the muffled break of glass as a bottle in the bag hit the   
wood floor of my apartment entry. He stood there, and looked me. He just looked at me, and I   
cried.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Thanks for reading! Stay tuned for the next chapter  
  
This story belongs to Silver_Earth_Angel@hotmail.com   
(Thats my copyright) No stealing! 


	21. Forever Changing

Thanks readers, for being so true. I'm thinking at least one more chapter, maybe too before   
this story is finished. It makes me sad to see it coming to an end. :(   
  
Finding Myself  
Chapter 19  
Forever Changing  
By: Earth Angel  
Email: Silver_Earth_Angel@homtail.com  
AIM: Dandi85  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
I was to scared to move, and my knees collasped beneath me. I could feel my clothes soaking in   
the liquid from the broken bottle, but I didnt care. He was so beautiful, my Mamo-chan, there  
he stood before me. I must have lost my mind, maybe he was just a spirit because according to   
the doctors there would be no possible way this man could stand before me. He was so very  
beautiful, his black hair gleamed, and his gorgeous sea blue eyes glittered at me, he was   
smaller looking, but not as pale and fragil as he had looked on that hospital bed. "Mamoru..."  
He crossed the room and he had his arms around me. "Usako." Was all that he whispered into  
my ear, as he helped me back to my feet. I dont know how long we stood there in my entry  
hugging, but what I did know is that I never wanted it to stop. We belonged together, forever,  
and it had taken so long for me to realize that. "How?" I looked up at him with teary eyes,  
the little smile on his face made my heart swell. "I woke up, Ami told me that you were so  
sad after the accident that you couldn't stand to be in Tokyo anymore, I tried for three months  
to get a hold of you, but every letter was returned and the phoneline was always busy. But I   
never thought that I would find... Usgai is the child mine?" I smiled. "Yes, Mamoru, I'm due in  
a month."   
I could see the pride in his eyes, and his smile only widened. "Usako, I came here with one question   
on my mind at the time." Oh. That was the only thought that ran through my head as my own smile  
widened he got down on one knee. "Usagi, I love you more than anything else, and I was wondering  
if you would do me the honor and become my wife." Time stood still, could I really marry him,  
I hadn't yet completed the task that I had orginally set out to do, at one point yes I did   
believe that I had thought I did, but only to come out and find out later. Maybe one never  
truely finds themselves, because we are forever changing, as time goes on we must change and   
adapt around the events that take place in our lives, and I realized then that I could know  
who I was, but the person would be different from one day to the next, and those around me  
would love her as long as her heart was true and her intensions were good.   
  
"Yes Mamo-chan. I will marry you."   
  
And then he kissed me, a kiss so sweet, so romantic,  
it was the kind of kiss that children read about in fairy tales. It was perfect. But so many   
things still had to be figured out, and a secret had to be told.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
stay tuned for the final chapters.. 


	22. Chapter 20 Sailor Moon Gone?

The end is almost here, not quite, but almost. I know I said last time there would be one, maybe   
two more at that time, but now you're getting the possiblity of two more chapters after this one.  
Maybe, I might finish it next time too. Who knows until I write it.  
Chapter 20  
Title: Sailor Moon Gone?  
By: Earth Angel  
Email: Silver_Earth_Angel@hotmail.com  
AIM: Dandi85  
  
*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*  
  
Mamoru and I spend two weeks together in New York, it felt as though we had never missed   
anytime together at all. I was in heaven being with him like that, because to me this was a   
dream that I had been having since I had left Tokyo, and finally it was coming true. As my   
due date came closer, Mamo-chan decided that it be best to return to Japan. I almost feared   
that I would give birth on the plane by the time we had rounded up enough .... willingness to   
return. He had it arranged so that all my stuff was shipped to Tokyo and I had not to lift   
a finger. I also put back in for that job transfer, but with maternity leave, before I started.  
As much as I protest on that one, Mamo-chan, decided that it would be the best for mother and   
child, and I would not dare put either one on the line for that I felt it was too soon for   
me to leave him tender embrass after finding again, and for the love of my child.   
Mamoru and I decided it would be best to put off the stress of a wedding until after   
Chibi-Usa had come.  
It was my birthday that the child finally arrived, and all my family and   
friends gathered round for the blessed event. She came beautifully and strong, perfect   
in every possible way, her little crecent moon slightly glowed when I held her in my arms  
of the white hospital room. I kissed it lightly and let it fade, and began to hum a lullabye.  
One that my mother, Queen Serenity had sung to me when I was a child. I don't remember much of   
the moon, but as I sat there with child in hand, I felt the words come to me, and fuzzy images  
of a happy time seemed to fill my head. For once in my life I actually feel like an adult,   
like I have the wisdom of both my lifetimes, and with that, I teach my daughter to be a great  
queen. This was my purpose as a woman, to bring forth life, and take care of the people that   
I love, as it is the duty of every woman that breaths air. But I had more duties than most I   
realize, and soon I would have to take charge of them again, that was what I feared.   
The would need me sometime soon, I felt it deep into my bones. How   
could I tell my friends, and how could I tell the man that I love, that I could no longer become  
the champion of justice? That I could no longer be Sailor Moon.   
  
!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!  
Wow its almost to an end folks. One, maybe two more chapters 


End file.
